Reinvention 101

I've lived vicariously in a world where I must never grow up. If I never grow up, I may never have to choose a career to stick to. I've had a lot of jobs, but never a career. I've enjoyed following career paths, but have never completely gotten absorbed into one. It seems I constantly admire other people's positions, because whatever one I'm currently in just isn't enough, even if I like it. And the problem with that is, I always want a new career. I've been thinking a lot lately about how to get paid to do exactly what I love to do, since that seems to be the popular advice on choosing a vocation.

And what do I love to do? Well, I love to eat, sleep, shop, travel, and surf the internet; and I enjoy telling people all about the things I have done or learned or want to do. But I like to have running water, working electricity, a nice home and ride, and nice things around me; and I haven't quite figured out how I could twitter restaurant reviews while doing sleep studies at worldwide resort spa hotel locations, and still pay all of those bills. I'm sure someone out there is doing it, so let me know if you found the answer and you're just plain tired of it. I'd like to take your place.

Do you think I have a commitment phobia? I don't know, so let's explore that theory a little. I've never been married, although I've got three children who have the same father (I eventually had to leave him behind). This must say something about my ability to be stable, doesn't it? I stuck around for a few years (believe me, it was long enough!). I've changed jobs a bit, though, but I usually stay for at least a year before the boredom slips in. And although I haven't finished yet, I have worked extremely hard toward my undergraduate degree. I just keep changing my mind about what major I want the degree in.

So you say it must be a classic case of procrastination? Doubtful, since I have jumped into all sorts of things feet first, many times leaving my head completely out of the water. I've spoken with consultants about my dilemma and taken the personality type tests (I'm an ENTP); but they really only stirred up a desire of mine to be a career counselor. I'd love to be a public speaker or life coach, but I would probably need to have something to speak about (that people would pay to hear) and have some indication of a life that had been "coached" to success. I often think I'd be a great public servant, but I would need too many people to help me remember too many things. While some people stew over this decision for a few months in their freshman year of college, I've agonized over it for years. What I know about this is, that when I do find my path, I'll be great at it.

I realize this is a personal journey and that I must listen to my inner voice of reason, continually allowing me the revelation of discovery. That distinct voice says I am an entrepreneur at heart, only perpetually in starting position.

• "On your mark..."This is what I do best: constant work on my reinvention. My ideas are wonderful, and they usually will benefit others.
• "Get set..." The problems appear when I try to convince someone else exactly how this business will make any money. So I have the idea, chew on it for a while, and so that I'm held accountable, I talk about it to others who I trust won't take the idea from me.
• "Go! ...um,NOW??" And I leave it on the shelf while I get a job to pay the bills and bankroll my plan.

There is a plan -- almost to the point of overkill. I've bought the books on creating an LLC and writing a business plan; downloaded the feeds about networking basics; attended power breakfasts, lunch seminars, and after-dinner professional events; and I admire everyone else who have already done it. Then I dream some more until I wake up to my reality, which, unfortunately, usually doesn't take very long because the bills on my desk are waiting to be paid.

I've tried my hand as an administrative assistant or secretary in more than a few different industries; and I've been a licensed real estate salesperson, mortgage loan officer, and life and health insurance agent. I've designed websites; created logos and marketing materials; and I've sold products through any number of multi-level-marketing channels. Currently, I'm a landlord and an hourly employee at a large private company in the aviation industry. I paint interior walls and decorate homes as a hobby. And oh, yeah: I've started blogging and writing my first novel.

So maybe what I am is a Renaissance Woman. I love all sorts of things, but I dislike their ownership of me. I can commit to an undertaking, but I don't want it to consume me. I will work my plan "until the wheels fall off," so I'm not asking for sympathy.

Yes -- I'm going to finish this first book, and probably write a few more. I'm going to take more art classes. I'm going to get my pilot's license one day soon. I'm going to finish my undergraduate degree, and probably get a few graduate degrees as well, because school is kind of fun for me. For now, I consider my ph.D. the one that life has awarded. I will always have my dreams and never give up on their fruition. And I have noticed, too, through all of this meandering through life, that the people I've come into contact with, the places I've been, the work that I've done, and the things I've experienced... have all melded together to create the person I am today, and she's pretty damn interesting.

March 7, 2009

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